The Awards

MAN AT HIS BEST
THE AWARDS

The SEVEN Most Remarkable Things in Culture This Month

The SEVEN Most Remarkable Things in Culture This Month

1 Best Surfboard

—From The End, a photo book about Montauk, New York, by Michael Dweck

2 Sauciest Language

“Fuddled, muddled, rat-faced, arseholed, rather hightitty, bit by a barnmouse, has a brick in 'is hat, sniffed the barmaid’s apron, quisby, tired and emotional, sozzled, tangle-footed, pontooned.”

—A sampling from the “Some Slang for Drunkenness” entry in Schott’s Food & Drink Miscellany, a brilliant new reference work

3 Bluntest Album Title

The Difference Between You and Me Is that I'm Noton Fire

—The latest release from Welsh garage rockers McLusky

4 Most Overtly American Response

Student: “Have you ever seen people starving?”

Mr, Sprat: “In pictures, yes.”

—From The Yes Men, an excellent new documentary about a pair of activist pranksters who pose as WTO officials

5 Best to the Cutting Chase

“The first rule of The Battle of the Hockey Gladiators is that you do not shoot or score goals. The second rule is that you do not bother with the hockey part either.”

—From the press release announcing the “first-ever” pay-per-view brawl on ice, August 20 and 21 at the Target Center in Minneapolis

6 Most Compelling Evidence that Tattoos Are Over

“With over three successful years as a company specializing in high-style temporary tattoos, Tinsley Transfers is proud to launch its newest division, SLEEVES—clothing designed to give you the realistic illusion of tattoos.”

—From sleevesclothing.com, where “tattoo’d clothing” is available in four styles: dermagraphic, Japanese, tribal 1, and tribal 2

7 Naughtiest Tobacco Ad

“Lick top of edge softly and deliberately, making sure to get everything wet. Seal in tobacco.”

—From “Light 2 Fires with Just One Match: Houu to Get a Girl (Hot) While You Roll the Perfect Cigarette," part of £~Z Wider’s Classic Guide to Rollin’ 101